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I hope I’m not the only one that has the sorts of experiences.  If I am….well, it doesn’t speak well for my awareness,much less my intelligence.

Have you ever thought you put something somewhere, then gone back and it was gone?  You spent whatever period was just beyond reasonable searching for it before giving up and either replacing it or something similar.  Then, in mere moments, POOF! it’s back.  Frustrating to the Nth degree.

Well, I’ve had one of those moments today and I had to laugh at my own idiocy.  An act I assure myself is a healthy one to do now and again.

The problem actually started last night.  I was making a purchase and, since I mark any debit or credit card as “See ID” the cashier asked for my ID.  No problem I have it right he…..wait…..where did it go?  I know I have my driver’s license here somewhere. Let me think, I had it out of my wallet briefly a few days ago, but it was with this card and I put one back so….Dammit.

Luckily, seeing the consternation I was experiencing, the cashier took pity on me and let me slide.  My wife and I thought of every conceivable place I would have put it, but no luck.  Thank God she was driving last night.  I searched my entire wallet and all the little places I would stick something for hiding purposes in the car. Still no luck.

Normally I would give myself the weekend to look for it and try to remember, but unfortunately this isn’t possible this weekend.  Activities are planned that may very well require me to have photo ID.  With much regret, I must resign myself to an early morning trip to the DMV for a replacement before work.

Now, in most places I lived, this would be a nightmare scenario.  The DMV in most states is an absolute study in inefficiency and madness.  Pennsylvania, at least in the Harrisburg area, isn’t so bad.  So, I dragged myself out of bed extra early, drove through the rush hour traffic I can usually avoid (in the rain no less), and arrive at the DMV just as they open.  A few quick forms and such later I am in possession of a shiny new driver’s license with the same awful photo.  (I personally believe that the manufacturers of the cameras used and DMV’s and/or the government have some sort of conspiracy involving bad portraiture.  I haven’t figured it out yet, but that’s a subject for another day.)

As I am happily walking out of the building, secure in the fact that it went so quick I won’t even be late for work, I opened my wallet to slide the new card into its accustomed place.  It was then I discovered a mysterious, previously unknown fact about said wallet.  The center section, where I keep said license has a convenient window to allow my license to peek out making removal for ID checks unnecessary.  However, if one slides the card in from the opposite side from the opening for this window, there is a pocket behind the window’s opaque back where something can also be stored.  I discovered this because I began doing it the wrong way first.

I also discovered my original license staring back at me mockingly, almost laughing, like this was a game of hide and seek.

I stopped dead in my tracks.  I had gotten up early.  I had driven in crappy traffic and crappier weather.  I had dealt with state employed drones who probably haven’t been paid correctly in months (thanks to the wonderful PA budget deadlock, thanks Mr. Rendell).  I paid the fee to get a new license because I was too stupid to hold onto the original.  And if it had been a snake….it would have bitten me.

Now the original is sitting in my wallet, laughing its ass off at these facts and screaming “FOOLED YA!”  I decided to join in the laughter.  After all, things like this will drive you a little mad.  And, as Robin Williams once said:

“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.”


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