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Any of us who start getting nostalgic naturally drift back to our high school days.  We remember with a certain fondness football games, pep rallies, school plays, and high school dances.  In our mind’s eye, nostalgia gives a soft filter to those days and they feel like some of the best days we had in our lives.  It’s amazing what time and distance can do for memory.

After all, while we’re remembering all those times we were hangin’ with our friends we gloss over the mad rush to get the few books available in the local libraries on our research topic.  Or walking into class to suddenly remember there was a test that day and your are completely unprepared.  Or pulling all nighters to get that term paper you had six weeks to do finished and having the last two pages turn out nearly incoherent.

And, of course gym class.

Now, I may be alone in this.  After all, I am now, and have been most of my life, a geek.  Being taken out to the field house and told to run around the rubberized track for an hour is not a fond memory.  Neither was the dreaded square dancing period. <shudder> But, I think that the thing that sticks out the most for me was the gym uniforms.

Every day we walked into the locker room, stripped out of our reasonably fashion-forward clothes and put on our ill-fitting, completely unflattering, and (for too many of our compatriots) rank to an almost overwhelming degree gym uniforms. 

Now, I don’t know about anyone else’s schools, but my alma mater, Harry D. Jacobs High School, had some real deviants involved in the uniform selection process.  Of this I am convinced.  Our shirts were double weight reversible t-shirts.  Perfect for physcial activity in hot weather or poorly ventilated field houses and gymnasiums.  Also, you can imagine the added benefit of the additional sweat absorption of such a shirt.  Complementing these were shorts that looked like they came out of a 1970’s running magazine.  Basically, everyone,male or female, was wearing shorts that with a slight adjustment could qualify as the athletic equivalent of Daisy Dukes.  We were definitely a sight to behold.

But, I left the best part for last.  As proud students of Jacobs High School, we were the Home of the Golden Eagles.  But, despite the fierce nature of our mascot, once again the deviants were allowed to be involved in the school color selection.  Our school colors? Brown & Gold.  Our gym uniforms? In school colors with the colors distributed heavily in the order listed. BROWN & GOLD!

Now, I invite you to close your eyese and imagine a group of high school kids in brown and gold gym uniforms as I have described them.  Go ahead, I’ll wait.  Oh, and if you feel the need to laugh go right ahead.  I mean the image is comical by any standard.

After all, we did look like a bunch of ambulatory turds running around that track.


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