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This weekend my wife and I are taking a day trip to D.C. for an exhibit at the National Geographic museum.  The exhibit in question is the touring exhibit of the Chinese Terra Cotta Warriors.  The Warriors fascinate me in the same way that Tut in Egypt or any other attempt by ancient cultures to make the afterlife one of ease for their leaders and emperors.

As I thought about the Terra Cotta Warriors my twisted mind skipped down a path to pay a visit to the video game “Overlord.”  And, upon considering the two concepts together I suddenly realized what it is that I am missing in life.


Minions could be a solution to every issue.  When I woke up this morning and realized I would have to shovel out yet again, what could have saved my back?  Minions.  When I’m hungry, but we’re in the middle of a major boss fight in a WoW raid, how can I get a snack?  Minions.  When there a children running around the restaurant screaming and unattended, how can I return peace?  By God, Minions again!

Basically, any issue that I have in life can either be solved by minions or beaten until it crawls away in fear of my power by those same minions.  I don’t know how I did not think of this before.  Something so simple, and yet so far-reaching in its benefits. 

So, by show of hands, volunteers?



  1. I’ve always wanted a helper monkey myself. A potty-trained one, with an eye-patch and a flair for writing dissertations.

  2. I have always wanted various forms of minions. From the strong silent type to the one that are intellectual, but not so much that they should realize that they do not need my minions. I do like the monkey idea that runswithcarrots mentioned

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