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In our household my wife does most of the driving.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy driving or that I have ceded the right to do so to my wife, it just works out better that way most of the time.  There are many reasons for this, but one of the big ones is parking.

Yes, you heard right, parking.

I am not a picky person when it comes to choosing a parking spot.  When I arrive at my destination I want to get to whatever my business there is so I grab whatever spot happens to grab my eye first.  Now this doesn’t mean I don’t look for the good space, but with me it’s a quick glance rather than a probing, radar-like reconnaissance of the parking lot.

For my wife, this is an entirely different story.

Parking is a game to her, a sport.  And she is ultra-competitive.  In her mind there are a limited number of “pole position” slots in each parking lot.  Snag one of these and you win.  Otherwise you’re a loser. 

The funny thing is, her obsession with the close spot has nothing to do with how far we have to walk to get in or anything like that.  It is about winning, plain and simple.  It is about rising victorious above the unwashed masses and their lousy parking spaces.  Victory is the only motive here.

And, to this end, she becomes a predator in the asphalt.  She will drive up and down aisles, her eyes darting back and forth scanning for back-up lights.  People exiting whatever establishment we are frequenting may find themselves the object of intense stares as she tracks them to their space to wait patently and call it her own.

I just smile, shake my head, and join in the frivolity of it all.  I join her in her smug satisfaction when we manage to claim a cherry space before a Porsche can get back around to it.  And, when necessary I gently persuade her to keep walking into the mall even though another space that was two spots closer opened up after we parked.

So, a warning to all of you out there.  Parking lots can be shark-infested waters.  And woe to those who mess with the sharks.  Steal a space and you may regret it.


One Comment

  1. You know my wife hates me when it comes to parking in a mall lot or what not, especially when it is a busy time of the year like Christmas. The reason for this is I naturally get the “cherry” spot. I don’t hunt, peek or cut anyone off the spot just opens up.

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