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Being out of work sucks.  There’s just no way around that fact.  As you sit in front of a glowing computer screen trying to convince company after company that you are, in fact, exactly the right person for that job you barely squeak by the qualifications for you quickly learn to regret every time the words “I just want to go home” passed through your brain at work.

One of the most disconcerting things about it, at least for me, is the silence that can descend in your house when you are the only one there.  I know I mentioned this before in my post about fears, but you’d be amazed how true this is.  For a little while it feels like peace and quiet, but the silence can take on a life of its own that haunts you.

One of the reasons the silence can be so frightening is the simple fact that it means you are alone.  Now, intellectually you know that you’re not truly alone in the overall sense.  You know your spouse or significant other is simply at work.  You know there are probably neighbors in nearby homes and drivers on nearby streets.  But, the pressure of being out of work mixes with that silence to create a paranoia of sorts.  Silence becomes a feeling of being alone.  The loneliness begins to feel like isolation.  And down into the dark side we go.

I admit I have a tendency to start sliding along that downward spiral pretty quickly at times.  My personality tends toward cynicism and even at times negativity.  That makes it easy to succumb to the isolation.  And, trust me, I have succumbed in these weeks since I was laid off.  It’s an emotional train that only seems to stop for fear, sadness, and anger.  A bad combo.

But, yesterday I had an epiphany of sorts.

For those who did not know, yesterday was my third birthday.  Yes, I said third.  I have decided that I am going to start counting by dozens from now on.  Anyway, yesterday saw my Facebook profile light up with well wishes from all over.  As they began pouring in, I began to realize that it was me that created the isolation.  It was all in my head.  I had many friends and family who cared.  Every one of those messages, no matter how simple, was a person that took time out of their day to send me good wishes.

Ad thus, I realized, it is time to change the game plan.  It is time to start being more aggressive in my pursuit of happiness.  It is time to stop wallowing in the misery of my unemployment and start doing what I have encouraged everyone else to do on this blog for over a year now.

It is time to stop surviving, and start living.

And so, I want to say thank you to all my friends, all my family.  Your kindness had buoyed my spirit and brought me back from the brink of the chasm that I had begun to sit and stare into.  You are all a treasured par of my life and I will take the lesson you have taught to heart.

I can be me again because of all of you.  Thank you.

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2 Comments

  1. You are welcome. I am glad that I could help. I know of the isolation that you speak, being out of work for 7 months now has been extremely hard. I found myself getting really depressed in the emptiness of the house. I really love my wife for being there and helping me through this tough time. She a treasure that one could not find again in a 1000 life times.

  2. What a wonderful epiphany!!! I truly enjoyed reading this particular blog post of yours – you always have great wisdom to impart and I enjoy seeing things from your point of view. Good luck in finding another job!! See you on the 17th.


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  1. […] I have been making concerted efforts to turn my attitude around and pull myself up out of the doldrums that unemployment can put you […]

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