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Apple is rudderless at the moment.  Steve Jobs has taken another medical leave of absence, leaving the company without its great prophet.  There is, of course, much speculation about the reasoning behind his decision and the effect it will have on Apple as a company and a stock performer.

But, worry not, the Jungle Gym is here to assuage all of your worries and fears.

After much probing and research I have determined something that may very well be something that possesses at least a passing similarity to something that may or may not be true. As always, I will share this bountiful knowledge with my loyal readership at absolutely no cost whatsoever, mainly because no cost whatsoever is more or less the value of my insight.

It is my firm belief that Steve has been working on a secret project that is now entering its final phases.  His previous medical leaves were all used to take the first steps towards this ultimate goal.  If successful, this project could guarantee Apple’s dominance and leadership indefinitely.

It will be called iJobs.

Yes, that’s right.  iJobs.  Steve has been slowly replacing his body with android like parts designed by a crack team of Apple engineers.  My guess is that the iLiver, iKidneys, and iLungs have already been installed.  This final leave will see the installation of the iHeart, a device which can circulate the necessary fluids through iJobs to the rhythm of any song on his playlist, and the iBrain which will be fully WiFi capable and have a data transfer rate that will be the envy of all competitors.

Look out, Research in Motion.  Move over, Motorola.  Apple is back yet again.  And this time, it’s very personal.

For Steve, anyway.

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