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Alright, it’s time to rant a bit.  And, while I love a good rant, I understand that this rant will fall on mostly unsympathetic ears.  In fact, given the company that put food on my family’s table when I was growing up this rant could even say to smack slightly of a certain level of hypocrisy.  However, I feel the need to rant, and few forces in nature can stop me once I get up a head of steam and want to complain.  I’m annoying that way, I suppose.

My rant today is on the subject of cheese.

Yes, that’s right: cheese.

This country, and perhaps the rest of the world as well, seems to have an obsession with the stuff.  Cheese is everywhere.  People love them some cheese.

Enough already.

Now, I know that I am in a rather small minority that does not care for cheese.  It is a cheese-lover’s world out there and I am just living in it.  I can deal with that.  I can handle having to ask nearly every waitress and fast food clerk to hold the cheese, knowing that this instruction will be ignored at least 40% of the time. I’ve learned to deal with it.

But, what does get to me sometimes is the complete lack of real cheese-free alternatives in many cases.  Case in point, this morning at the grocery store.  I stopped to pick up a few items and decided I wanted to grab something quick to throw in the microwave for a hot breakfast.  A simple enough request, and one that would offer up a bountiful selection to most frozen foods shoppers.

But not for those of us who dislike cheese.

Every biscuit, every scramble, nearly every non-sweet option for breakfast includes cheese.  It is as if it is impossible to make eggs or biscuit sandwiches or breakfast bowls without mixing in some cheese.  Is there a law I am unaware of?  Is there some sort of strange chemical reaction that I am not privy to which only the presence of cheese can stabilize?

So frustrating.

It will never change.  Those of us who are not fans of cheese will never be a strong enough voting bloc or consumer demographic to engender real change.  We will continue to be an ignored minority who are sneered at with disgust when we ask if it would be possible, for the love of God, to please have that order without cheese.

Is that really asking so much?

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2 Comments

  1. That’s true! It’s like as if cheese is on default mode or something

  2. Dude, you know I feel your pain. And every time I mention my distaste for cheese, Danny protests, “But your house was BUILT on cheese!” I will argue that I often enjoy not true quality cheese but in fact processed “cheese food.” I’ll eat Kraft mac’n’cheese and Doritos. Ooooo, sweet Doritos.


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